Death of Yahoo!

Yesterday, I discovered that Yahoo! are going to be closing down their chatrooms on the 14th December 2012. This is a real disappointment for me and a bunch of my Yahoo! friends who would regularly visit the rooms 20s Love: 1 and 20s Love: 2. However, since discovering that fact, I've been attempting to talk my friends into moving over to Pal Talk where I've made a replacement room for us all.

Getting everyone to move to the new room isn't easy, though, because some of the regulars will only move over if certain people also move. Because of this, my room tends to be pretty empty. I had someone yesterday in the room saying that the room isn't at its best and needs to be advertised some more. What better way is there to promote it than on my own blog? I know that I have several readers, so this is worth a try!

So, whether you're an old regular of the 20s Love rooms on Yahoo! or a newbie wanting to make some new friends, come on over and visit us at 20s Loves new home. There will be plenty of friendly people for you to meet and make friends with, including myself!

You shouldn't be allowed near computers...

I got home today to quite a surprise. As soon as I entered the house, the first thing I saw was my brother laughing. A moment later, he was telling me the reason why.

Apparently, Bertha has taken his computer to bits because of what I'd done to it about a week ago. I'd edited a file on his computer that would redirect Facebook and Interpals to a gay porn site and a general porn site. Now, he's dismantled the computer in an attempt to fix this. Why? The problem will remain the same when he puts the computer back together because it's a software problem, not a hardware problem. Dismantling the computer isn't going to do anything!

This whole thing shows that some people should NOT be allowed around computers.

Question: what will he do after he puts the computer back together? Is he going to end up saying that the computer is a piece of crap and try to buy another one?

I think this whole thing is the bullshit he was talking about yesterday. Bertha told me he'd received a call from Microsoft about some hackers on Interpals. He was apparently talking to this Microsoft employee for 45 minutes. Now, if this call DID happen, it would not have lasted 45 minutes because if Microsoft were talking to people about hackers, they'd want to be quick about it since there are billions of users of Windows. They wouldn't have time to waste like that.

Bertha should give up on computers.

Tree felling? Chest pains?

I think I upset Richard once again today.

As soon as I arrived at the project, I was introduced to a new youth, Aaron, who was joining us for the week after punching someone in school. I'm not entirely sure why, but he was suspended because he has a "gang of people" with him. Those people just followed him, though, and it wasn't something he wanted.

I had to go to the land with Aaron and work on three tasks. All of these tasks were challenging. Of the three, I'm unsure if the tree felling or moving things up to the top of the shed was the hardest. Probably the shed. We got a few items up to the top of the shed, but that didn't last long because it was a mess up there when we began. There wasn't any room to put anything. It needs clearing up, but I'd hate to go ahead and do it, then find out we moved something around up there that shouldn't have been moved.

Task 2 involved felling a couple of trees. I ended up hurting my chest during this task. I got most of the way through one of the trunks, and as Aaron and I pushed on the tree, it suddenly fell off of the stump, and I smashed chest first into the stump, which is still hurting. After some shifting of the tree, we got it to fall in the correct direction, missing the phone wire and anything else that could've been damaged, so that went well.

The second tree took a little more time to get through, and we had to pull that one in the correct direction using a rope. I was the one pulling the rope, so I had to move quickly when it started falling so it didn't land on me. That one fell just as Richard came up to the land to see how we were doing.

I had to explain that the third task, digging a rather deep hole, wouldn't be possible. The ground is rather solid. Even with about 20 minutes of swinging a pick axe, we barely got down 6 inches, and it wasn't that wide of a hole either. I think the actual width he wants is about...15-20 inches, and about that deep down. We managed to get about a 6-inch deep hole about 6 inches wide in 20 minutes or so. We need a digger to do it because it'll take forever with a pick axe and a shovel.

After cutting the two trees into logs, we put the tools and all away, then returned to the Hotel. I went into the toilets to wash the mud off my hands, then went into the room where we usually sat. Richard did not look impressed that the two of us had turned up there. It made me wonder if we should've just stayed out at the field and just done nothing.

It was nice to get back to the Hotel, though, because it seems that Richard was getting some lessons in C from a guy in California. He's going to be getting those lessons for an hour every day this week. Sadly, I think I will have to miss out on these lessons. I'd love to learn more about C, though.

I think I'm going to have to try to teach myself while I'm at home...see if I can get any further with understanding C that way. It will take a lot of work to do it that way, though. But if it's all you've got, it's what you're going to have to deal with.

Tomorrow, I think I will remain at the field until 15:30ish, then head back to the train station. I hoped that this week, Richard, Erik and I would be trying to learn and understand more about C. That will only happen if I work on it alone at home.

Public transport letdowns

There are times when relying on public transport is a complete and utter nightmare. Today is one of those days.

I arrived at the train station as usual, only to discover that the track was flooded and that the trains for this morning had been cancelled. I was told that a bus would take everyone waiting for the train to Liskeard. However, after almost an hour of waiting, everybody had given up, myself included.

Even if the bus DID turn up, we would have all missed our trains from Liskeard to...wherever.

After giving up, I headed back into town. I purchased some phone credit so that I could call Richard and let him know I wouldn't be in today due to the tracks being flooded and that fucking bus not showing up. What happened to the fucking thing? Were we all lied to? Was there a bus coming, or was it to get our hopes up?

Either way, I'm pissed off currently because I wanted to see how much further we could get with the simple Yahtzee project that we're writing in C. How far will they get in the project today? Sadly, I'm not there to see...

Coding problems

I got a little bit of a surprise when I arrived at the project today. Across the road from the Hotel was a smashed-up car. I do not know what happened, but when I mentioned it to Richard, he said it'd been there for about two hours. A car crash, apparently. What happened to the other car supposedly involved in the whole thing? I only saw the one car.

We were working on programming our little game of Yahtzee again today. We appear to have gotten a lot further but are still encountering several problems. A main problem we're having is storing player names and recalling those names before each roll. We discovered that we can store names via the following command - char playerName[10][100]. The [10] should allow us to store up to 10 player names, and [100] will allow up to 100 characters; at least...that's the theory. If the names ARE being stored, how do we go about recalling stored data from the [10] within our program?

If anyone is interested in just how our program is looking and could help at all, check out this thread on Cprogramming.com. Any help on this whole thing would be much appreciated.

When I got home, I was told that an older man had fallen to his death from a window at the old people's home across the road from where I live. Out of curiosity, I decided to search Google for any news about the event. Here is what I found.

Hillcrest House care home fined for Looe window fall death

The owners of a care home in Cornwall must pay £135,000 after a resident fell to his death from a faulty window.

Michael and Sharon Cotton who run Hillcrest House on Barbican Road, Looe admitted failing to ensure the safety of residents.

Truro Crown Court heard that Reginald Gibbings, 89, fell 12ft (3.6m) out of a window due to a faulty catch.

The couple were fined £40,000 and must pay £95,963 for Mr Gibbings' funeral and Health and Safety Executive costs.

The court heard that Mr Gibbings, who died in 2008, had Alzheimer's disease and had moved into the care home five days before his death.

He fell through a ground-floor bedroom window, suffering multiple injuries and died two days later.

Prosecutor Kate Brunner said the windows at the home had restrictors to prevent them being opened more than 10cm (4ins) but that a screw had not been tightened sufficiently and the window opened too far.

Judge Philip Wassall said the restrictor was used contrary to its design and there was no procedure to ensure that staff were instructed how to use it.

He said the system was defective but not significantly so.

That was such a surprise to find out about. The guy had only moved into the place about five days before he died. It sounds like he may have been safer just living wherever he was living before this all happened.

Hotel 626

Yesterday, I heard about a free horror game called Hotel 626, apparently made by Doritos. After seeing YouTube user PewDiePie play it a little bit, I thought I'd try it out because it looked interesting. The sad thing is that the game doesn't seem to exist online anymore. I've tried a few sites to find it, and no sites let me play it. Does this mean the game is gone for good?

If anyone knows where you can play the game, please let me know.

You can't be THAT stupid!

I...really give up hope of Mom ever learning from her mistakes.

I got home not too long ago, and my sister came upstairs to talk to me, so I joked about Bertha's computer not working. After a bit of whispered conversation about that, she'd told me, "You know he's moved back in, right? Why do you think he's here all the time?". I sighed at this because...it's basically true. If he's not officially moved back in, he's damn close to moving back in.

On Saturday, I saw him unloading his broken piece of shit computer from Mom's car, as well as a bag of clothes. At that point, I thought, "Oh great...he's moving back in whether I'm still here or not." I didn't want to believe that was possible, but I guess it is now. The family aren't going to be happy to hear about that if he's officially living here again. Honestly, I hope Mom is prepared to lose some family...or even a lot of family because of her fucking idiotic choice. It's extremely idiotic because he's not even a loyal person! What will happen is that Mom will lose family, Bertha will eventually find someone else he likes, he'll walk out on her, and Mom is going to be left with no fucking dickhead boyfriend and very little family. Well, I guess it's her fucking choice.

I've got to work on getting myself moved out because I think I'll get driven insane if I live here with him. I think that was proven when I told Bertha, "It's not because of sugar...it's because you won't SHUT THE FUCK UP!" when he told me I have mood swings because of having too much sugar.

What I will have to do later, if I can drag Mom away from Bertha, is ask her if Bertha has seriously moved back in with her. I talked about him with her this morning when she took me to town to catch the train. She admitted she was stupid for loving him...and there was some more to that line, but I forget what it is now. The question now is, just HOW stupidly in love with him is she? Are you stupid enough to risk the loss of family? I hope not because that's going to be the most REGRETFUL thing she'll ever do.

I'll post here again once I find out what is happening.

No Hope Left?

I read some of the stupidest rumours yesterday when looking for information on the upcoming Resident Evil 6 (released tomorrow!).

According to some rumours, Capcom plans to kill off either Leon, Chris, or possibly both. Would a company like Capcom really be so stupid as to do that?

Sites like Amazon have in the Product Description put "...sees series favourites, Chris and Leon...". That's exactly what they are - favourites. If you kill the fan-favourite characters, what do you think that will do to your series? It would pretty much kill the series because no one will be interested anymore. The reason for these rumours is that Capcom wants to reboot the series. Are you saying they can't reboot the series unless they kill off peoples' favourite characters?

If that rumour is true, then the Resident Evil 6 tagline "No Hope Left" will be accurate. There will be no hope left for the series. It will be over.

I'm hoping that they aren't that stupid. I understand the want for a reboot since a lot of people don't like the direction the series has been going since Resident Evil 4. Still, a reboot doesn't mean you must kill off characters everybody likes.

"Ok Bertha..."

After yesterday, I'm going to start calling Sean either Bertha or Gertrude.

That is because, while I was messing around online, Sean decided to come upstairs, knock on my door, and tell me that Mom wanted to talk to me. So, I went down to see what she wanted. She didn't really talk at all, though. I got downstairs, and the person doing all the talking was Sean. The whole conversation was about food.

He was telling me about how he was going through the trash I put outside and then was lecturing me about the wrappers and stuff inside that trash bag. I find it sad that he's now looking through trash just to find things to bitch about. I know there were a lot of junk food wrappers in there, but they were from several weeks, not all THIS week. Barely any of it was from this week. He was giving the impression that everything in that bag (all from a massive cleanup of my room) was eaten THIS week. If that were true, wouldn't I be fucking huge by now?

Anyway, since he's obsessed with bitching at us and saying either "Your Mom wants to talk to you" or "Your Mom said...", I figure I may as well give him a ridiculous female name, like Gertrude or Bertha. Mom barely says anything during these things, and Sean says just about everything like he thinks he's our mother.

How quickly will constantly calling him Gertrude or Bertha piss him off?

Loss of cash

I'm not in the best of moods right now.

Last night, I felt so dizzy that I had NO idea what I was doing, and I was supposed to be sorting out payment for the Betterware stuff I delivered. Because I couldn't see anything that well, I just had to guess what I was paying with. It turns out now that I have no cash left for food and all I need for the youth project. It looks like someone took advantage of my dizziness because I know I should have at least £15 left, which I don't have. Typical.

Problem is, feeling as dizzy as I was, I can't accuse the guy of taking it all because I'm not 100% sure of anything. I know I should have at least £15 left, but did he take it, or was it someone else? What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Seven months and nothing was done!?

I've got to say - I'm amazed at the news report about the 15-year-old girl who ran off to France with her 30-year-old teacher. I noticed it in the papers yesterday but never read into it. I read about it today because it was splashed across several of the newspapers' front pages.

Apparently, the school KNEW about the relationship between 15-year-old Megan Stammers and 30-year-old Jeremy Forrest 7 months ago, yet they seem to have done nothing about it. Really? How could a school be so fucking irresponsible? What is even more amazing is this line from The Daily Mail's website. It reads, "School in Eastbourne says it is 'deeply concerned and shocked' by events". How concerned can you honestly be if you knew about it for seven months yet did fuck all about it?

Jeremy Forrest is a married man too.

Let's hope that Megan is at least safe with the guy. No one would want to hear that she's been hurt or something by that sick fuck.

If you know nothing about the report or are interested in reading about it, check out the following link.

Why didn't school stop them? Staff knew about runaway teacher and pupil seven months ago.

Is he gone for good?

Yesterday was a great day for some news around here.

While I was outside collecting some cash from people, I discovered that Sean may never return. He went up to Birmingham on Wednesday, and I honestly thought it was only going to be for a week or so. But I heard yesterday that he no longer has his job here. According to the rumour, he said that a person would not need his date of birth for some police check thing because he's not going to return.

The question now, though, is...what exactly did he mean by that if it's true? Does it mean he's moving away from this area, or does it mean something else? I'm hoping like hell that it means he's not coming back here ever. It'll be great for my family if he never returns.

In one way, the whole moving away thing scares me. The reason for that is because what if that entire thing involves Mom going with him to live elsewhere? I can't talk to Mom about it because she'll say she knows nothing about it and then will ask Sean about it, or she'll know something about it and deny it's true. I can't risk Mom asking or telling Sean I know about it because that'll get me and others into trouble.

I will have to wait it out and seriously hope he'll be gone for good.

Why have they stopped?

Lately, I've been wondering what has been happening with my Employment and Support Benefit. I started claiming it around the 6th of July this year, and it was being paid in just about every week from then. However, that hasn't happened for the past three weeks or so. I have yet to have a letter or anything explaining why it would have been stopped.

What I'm starting to wonder is if Sean is the main cause of that. I feel they possibly called the house and asked for me, and he probably told them that I was working. Either that OR he told them that he'd tell me they'd called and that I would call them back.

I tried to call them today as soon as I got home. However, all I got repeatedly was that all the operators were busy and unable to answer my call. I had to give up on that in the end, as it'd reached 6 pm when lines were supposed to close. Try again tomorrow, I guess.

I completed the back wall of the newer shed today. I could not do anything more out there because we'd run out of insulation. We also need four more pieces of feather edge cladding (or something like that). We probably need several things, but that'll get sorted out later this week or at the beginning of next week. Definitely won't be happening tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I'm meant to meet Erik at the hotel, and we're supposed to be working on a whole bunch of website stuff. I don't know which websites that will be, though. Hopefully, we'll learn a lot more about CSS and PHP. That's something I should practice at home. Can I practice that sort of thing online without affecting my website? I'd rather not practice on my own website and then discover I've fucked up everything.

Notepad++

After searching for a program that would display syntax highlighting, I think I've finally found what I've been looking for!

While coding some CSS on WordPress, I noticed that as you're coding, the commands are coloured, showing you what is what. Out of curiosity, I wondered if there was something online - for free - that would do that with all kinds of coding. CSS, HTML, PHP, etc. After some searching, I think I've found JUST the tool.

It's called Notepad++. After playing with it for just a little bit, I don't think I could say that I'm any happier with a free program than I am with this one!

If you're a website coder, whether it's HTML, PHP, CSS or whatever, I'd highly recommend this program to you!

"I'm fine!"...but am I really?

I think I pretty much let everyone down today.

I woke up feeling pretty fucking lousy, and having Sean around really did not help that at all. On the way to the youth project in Lostwithiel, I found out that my usual train from Liskeard to Lostwithiel was utterly packed from announcements at the station about why the train was delayed. As the time got closer to the expected arrival time, it was announced that only one coach was available. Due to the amount of people standing in the station for that train, I decided to skip over my usual train and catch the next one. Sadly, this meant that I had to remain sat at the station for about another hour.

It was about 11:30 when I got out to the woodlands in Lostwithiel to get on with some work. By then, I was beginning to feel even worse. I was meant to fill up the three water containers with water from the stream and start working on the interior walls of the new shed. I filled up those three containers and then struggled to carry them back up to the field. Those things are heavy when they're full.

Working on the walls is where I failed and started to feel miserable about my efforts. It took me about five tries to get one piece cut down to even fit into the area I was trying to fit it. It didn't fit in that well even after all of that effort because there were some large gaps from where I went a little wonky with the sawing. After all that effort, I was feeling stressed and miserable, but I was hoping it didn't seem like that to Richard.

That is one thing I lie about at times - how I'm feeling. I'll tell people I'm perfectly fine and all. However, some days, that can be a complete lie because deep down, I'm feeling like total shit, and I hope that it doesn't show. I'm sure it does show at times, though.

I feel like I let Richard down by the amount of work I achieved. For about 30 minutes or so, I just stood there, procrastinating about working on the wall. I didn't feel like working any more on it because I was just feeling that fucking lousy!

Back To The Future timeline

After completing Back To The Future - The Game, I decided to look at the Back To The Future wiki, aka Futurepedia. Why? I wanted to see what the timeline would be like.

I was surprised while reading it that there are eight different timelines throughout the movie trilogy. Each timeline began whenever the time machine went back to the past. Any leaps into the future wouldn't affect the current timeline. I'm curious how many timelines there would now be if the Back To The Future - The Game episodes were considered canon. But it seems from the wiki that these weren't considered canon at all, which is a shame because it's a good game.

The timelines are a lot of fun to read if you're into the Back To The Future series.

Timeline 1 is pretty straightforward. This is the original, unaltered timeline. In this timeline, Biff becomes George's boss and continues bullying him.

Timeline 2 is the timeline brought into existence by Marty's accidental time journey into 1955. This timeline exists at the end of the first movie before Doc takes Marty and Jennifer into 2015. In this timeline, George becomes an author, and Biff becomes a car detailer.

Timeline 3 is the timeline Doc brings into existence by travelling to 1985 to seek Marty and Jennifer's help. In this timeline, the fate of the McFly children ought to have been greatly improved. Unfortunately, "Old" Biff's stealing the DeLorean and travelling back to 1955 retroactively changes this timeline's events and brings Timeline 4 into existence instead. Biff quickly returns the DeLorean to 2015 undetected (before any past alterations have occurred), and Doc, Marty, and Jennifer depart moments before it fades away. It is implied that Doc would bring Marty and Jennifer back to 1985 after the future excursion because their future selves still exist and are appropriately aged in 2015.

Timeline 4 is the timeline Old Biff brings into existence in 1955 by arriving from 2015 in the stolen DeLorean, almanac in hand. It is replaced with a virtually identical Timeline 5 on October 26th, 1985, when Doc, Marty, Einstein and Jennifer arrive from 2015 and observe the damage Biff has accomplished.

Timeline 5 is the alternate timeline brought into existence when Marty, Doc, Jennifer and Einstein return from 2015. This is referred to by Doc as 1985A, which is depicted in BTTF Part II. The key difference between this timeline and Timeline 4 is the simultaneous presence of two Martys (his doppelganger overseas at boarding school), two Docs (his doppelganger committed to a mental institution and unable to invent the time machine) and the alternate Einstein and Jennifer, the latter who is still unconscious from what she has witnessed in 2015 (their 1985A doppelgangers, if they have any, are never seen or mentioned).

Timeline 6 is the key timeline brought into existence when Doc and Marty arrive in 1955 to relieve Biff of his newly acquired almanac from the future, thus preventing Timeline 4 and Timeline 5 from coming into existence, but without disturbing Timeline 2 as Marty has previously accomplished. This timeline is depicted in the "1955" part of Back to the Future Part II. For clarification, this timeline can be considered a "patched" version of Timeline 2, with double Docs and Martys. It bears noting that at some point during this one-day period, three instances of Doc's DeLorean are present in Hill Valley simultaneously.

Timeline 7 is the timeline Doc and Marty exist in, separated by seven decades, at the end of Back to the Future Part II and the beginning of Part III (i.e., before Marty's trip back to 1885). It is a timeline in which Doc lives in 1885, without Marty, for only eight months and almost seven days. As it seems the careful Doc's presence has little impact on history (until 1955 when his DeLorean is unearthed), this timeline is nearly identical to Timeline 2 with Timeline 6. Because of Doc's unintended trip to 1885, on November 12th, 1955, in this timeline, four DeLorean time machines exist simultaneously because this is a timeline where a DeLorean has been stored in a mine for more than 70 years. Even as 1955 Doc is planning to send DeLorean "A" back to the future; 2015 Biff brings DeLorean "B" with an almanac inside, and 1985 Doc and Marty bring DeLorean "C" to retrieve the almanac -- there is DeLorean "D" inside the Delgado Mine.

Timeline 8 is the timeline that comes into existence when Marty arrives in 1885 to try to prevent the events that lead to Doc's death in Timeline 7 at the hands of Buford Tannen. It is this timeline that Doc and Marty appear for most of Back to the Future Part III. It is also the final timeline depicted in the trilogy, as the DeLorean will no longer travel backwards in time. Since Marty chooses not to race Needles upon his return to 1985, the future is changed again, and the alternate futures Doc and Marty have experienced in Timeline 2 and Timeline 3 are erased by this timeline. Note: Two DeLoreans exist in this timeline for five days in 1885, from September 2nd, when Marty arrived, until September 7th, when he departed for 1985.

If you're interested in reading about all the timelines in greater detail, then check out the Back To The Future timeline.

I think what I'll have to do at some point is continue the timelines as best as I can in my blog to include the games and any changes they would have possibly made to the future if they were considered canon, which I don't think a lot of people will. But it could be fun to try out.

"I like what you're doing...but..."

It's been one of those idiotic days today.

The day out at the project started off being standard. I arrived out there to see that only Richard was there. Not too long after I got there, Darren showed up. Pretty much all we did was screw in some support beams to support the roof on the second "shed". That wasn't completed, though, because we soon left on a road trip. It wasn't much of a trip. We were getting this large van off of the land. The van is being turned into a temporary home for Richard and his family.

This is where the idiotic part came in.

A guy pulled up to the land in his car just before we were about to depart in the large van and started telling Richard a whole load of complete and utter bullshit. He was whining about everything we were doing and that the cockerels were keeping him awake at night. They're going to be gone soon anyway.

He then whined about language out on the woodlands. Apparently, many of the youths have been swearing extremely loudly. He claims that because of that, a lot of local kids have started swearing, too. If this HAS happened, then it's happened at times that I haven't been out there because the only thing I've ever heard yelled out is "MODERN WARFARE!" and just random noises. Nothing that could be considered swearing. There has been swearing on the land, but it's never been loud.

Another thing he whined about was planning for everything out on the land. He told us he'd called the council about planning and all and was told that Richard told them nothing. Funny - Richard had a meeting with them today about it all. How could they not have heard anything? I honestly think the guy lied about actually calling them and does not want us around in that area.

He claimed that he likes what we're doing but was saying he hates everything we're doing.

I've got to say it's honestly fucking stupid how many people say they love what we're doing, yet bitch and moan about everything that we're doing. If you like what we're doing, then shut the fuck up and let us get on with it instead of trying to hinder our progress. We already lost six months of work because of one fucking dickhead; we don't need MORE work lost because of people having some retarded problem with us.

I wonder if the planners Richard met with today ended up bringing up complaints from that fucking asshole. I'm sure it was probably mentioned. Even if he never called them, I'm sure someone else called and lodged idiotic complaints.

You Know What's Bullshit? - Pay Toilets

I never thought that I would experience the very thing that James Rolfe was talking about in Episode 6 of You Know What's Bullshit. However, I experienced this very thing yesterday while I was in Plymouth yesterday.

I badly needed to go to the toilet, so I got to the public toilets as quickly as possible. I sadly ended up getting there and found that I had to pay 20p to get into the toilets. Worse yet was that I didn't have a 20p coin on me. I had to buy something I didn't want just to get 20p to use the toilet.

As James says in the video, public toilets are mandatory unless you stay indoors. It's a real pain in the fucking ass that, in some places, you have to pay to use the bathroom. It's not like it's a matter of choice. When you've got to go, you've got to go. It's not exactly healthy for you to hold back the need to go just because you don't have the money to pay to use the bathroom. Who's fault is it going to be if your bladder explodes just because you don't have the money to use the bathroom?

At one point, while I was in Plymouth, I needed to go so badly that I was thinking about finding an alley to go down, away from prying eyes and going to the toilet. That was another thing mentioned by James in the episode. "As soon as you have to start paying for your bodily functions, I say go back to nature."

So, as a word of warning, if you're ever going to visit Plymouth in Devon, UK, make sure you have a few 20p coins on you, just in case.

What a load of fucking bullshit...

Deadly Danger Dungeon

If anyone is up for one hell of a difficult challenge, then this is a game just for you.

I first saw this game on a YouTube video by James Rolfe, better known as The Angry Video Game Nerd. In one of his series, Board James, he's talking about a board game called Deadly Danger Dungeon. This game was never for sale in stores, though, as it was a game James designed himself when he was 12. It's damn close to being impossible to complete. All over the board are traps that will kill you instantly, while other traps only take away one hit point. You only have three hit points to get through the game

Someone online has recreated the game and put it online on a site called Kongregate. The game can be found here.

How far can you get? Play it and find out for yourself!

I was also sent a video by one of my best friends, Liyah. It's a video of herself singing You Gotta Be by Desiree. Due to her being afraid to upload it to YouTube herself, I decided to upload it for her friends and others to view.

Some people aren't going to agree with me, but her singing is amazing. Check out the video here if you're interested, and let me know what you guys think.

Thanks in advance for any positive comments!

We fucked up...

I felt rather lousy after leaving the project today. Why? It's because we all upset Richard because we weren't doing the tasks we were meant to do. But for Jack and I, we were stuck for what we could do after a while. We were meant to be placing insulation between the walls. We ran out of that rather quickly and were left with nothing to really do.

A gap was left in the cladding that Jack and I had placed up to put the insulation into the walls. I had no idea how to fill in the gap. When I eventually asked Richard how we should complete it, I was told, "I don't care."

He said something similar when I was helping Hanna and Tamika with cladding another of the walls. This is what I think had upset Richard. Instead of insulating the walls, Jack and I were helping Hanna and Tamika.

What the girls were supposed to be doing was building some chairs. So, the four of us ended up upsetting Richard. I left for the train, sighing and feeling horrible as fuck for managing to upset Richard. I feel fucking awful, and I'm honestly very sorry for not doing the tasks I was meant to do. Will it be any better tomorrow? I have no idea. I do know that I'm going to feel awful when turning up to the project tomorrow...

All I know about tomorrow is that I am NOT looking forward to it.

Blocked...how typical!

After trying to message a user on Plenty of Fish, I think I finally discovered why I'm not getting any replies from any of the women.

I tried to message this one female asking how the weather was in her city and how they were doing lately. When I clicked "Send", a message popped up telling me she had blocked me. Seriously? I got blocked for my last message to her. A few of the people I have messaged all got similar questions. I just asked about movies and music and if there wasn't anything on their profile about that kind of stuff. I've never once sent something that could be offensive.

In a message from one person, I was told I'm probably not her type, and she said I should try to remove anything negative from my profile. I did that, but now, after being blocked by one person (and possibly many more people), it is no wonder I had negative stuff in my profile. It's hard to be positive about yourself when people are blocking you. It makes me question a lot of things. The female I tried to message had things on her profile about always getting cheated on and that there are no nice guys left in the world. As I mentioned in my last entry, there's a good reason behind that. It's because you're ignoring those guys. That was proven to me after being told this female had blocked me.

What I'm going to have to do soon is try messaging some of the other females I've messaged and see if I get blocked messages from trying to message them, too.

Plenty of Quiet Fish

It's been such a weird week so far.

Since about Sunday, I've been signing into the dating website Plenty Of Fish. I've messaged several people on that site and even talked to one of them. But it amazes me that so many people on that site are unwilling to talk. Except for one person, I haven't had any messages on there. Two other people have messaged me, but they never answered any of my questions. Instead, the replies were basically "No thanks" messages. Is it so hard for people to talk on these sites? It's not like I've been asking them, "Do you want to date me?". Instead, I'm just trying to get to know more about them. So much for that, though.

What amazes me even more about these sites are the women who complain that there are no nice guys left out there, that they're always getting cheated on, and all this. However, when a nice guy messages them, they completely ignore the guy. Why? Is it because I'm not the best-looking guy in the world? I doubt I'm ugly, but I'm not a great-looking guy. I know that. So, why is no one giving me a chance? Why is no one willing to talk to me?

Anyway, enough about the dating site websites. Hopefully, there are people out there who understand what I mean by this.

Tuesday was a rather sad day. I arrived at the youth project and discovered we were working on another raised bed. For what? Richard's cat, Coco. I was told by him that Coco was terminally ill and that the raised bed was for her. Later in the day, he brought Coco back to the woodlands. In the time he was away from the house, Coco sadly died. So, just like Muffin, his elderly dog, she is now buried in the woodlands.

It's sad that over the past 9-10 months, I've had to experience the deaths of three of Richard's pets. I know - it's worse for Richard, who's had these animals for years. But it's sad to me, too, because I got to know the animals, and seeing them die is depressing, even if I'm not the owner.

Anyway, rest in peace, Coco. I hope you'll be treated well in the afterlife.

On Saturday, I got a package from Amazon UK containing three volumes of The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones on DVD and also an external hard drive. I badly needed the hard drive because my computer's hard drive was getting extremely full. Since this computer cannot write onto DVDs, I figured a large external hard drive would help clear the pictures, music and videos off my computer.

Ned is dead, or is he?

I got into Lostwithiel and had to meet Richard and the others outside the Co-Op. After climbing into the van, we headed to the old field. Hanna was reading some pretty awful poetry from a book along the way. At least, I think she was reading it from a book.

Not too long after, jokes were being made about a chicken which had been named Ned by Hanna and her friend. So, Richard was constantly joking about how we would kill it, making up jokes and poems. I can't recall any of the poems now, but it was pretty funny at the time. The girls weren't too happy about hearing how Ned would die. But since the chicken was only named Ned about an hour before I showed up, I do not know why they were panicking so much about it. Besides, none of us would kill any of the animals. Someone else might, but none of us would do it.

Anyway, we got to the old field and immediately had to load up the van with a lot of plywood and other bits. The back of the van eventually ended up crowded with things, so we had to stop loading more things into the van. Why? Because Jack and I had to sit in the back as well. If anything else was loaded, we wouldn't be able to climb into the van and would be stuck out at the old field.

We got back to the woodlands with all the wood, and that's when I saw a flooring frame all laid out in the area where the chickens used to be kept. When was that started? I'd only attended the project twice last week: Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday, I'd missed the train. I'd gotten on the train and bought a return ticket to Lostwithiel on Friday. But, after getting to Liskeard, I turned around and headed back home to see the doctor. I do not know what happened, but my eye hurt greatly. So, between last Monday and today, they'd worked on building a floor frame for a new shed.

The wood that Richard had ordered eventually arrived at the woodlands, and we had to unload it all. This turned out to be quite a laugh. We had three girls helping us out, and the whole time, when they were carrying the wood, they were swinging it around crazily, almost taking each other's heads off with the wood. Jack and I decided to remain clear of the girls when they were carrying wood because it's pretty dangerous to get close to them. I ended up being called a showoff by Hanna for carrying bits of wood on my shoulder and only holding it in one hand. I wasn't trying to show off, though. It's just how I ended up carrying the wood.

When Richard talked about the new shed, he told us it must be completed by the end of August for the youths. Can we make it? Hopefully, we can. We have close to a month to sort it, but it does mean we have to work hard with no real fooling around.

My day ended with walking into town to watch the Floral Dance (part of Looe's Carnival Week), which got really boring. We must've been standing outside for a good hour and 45 minutes just waiting for it to start. Usually, it starts at around 19:00. Today, though, it didn't start until around 19:40. At one point, I was so bored that I yelled, "WHEN ARE YOU STARTING!?" I didn't get a reply to that. It ended up being a complete waste of time waiting around. The music was fucking horrible! The two bands had different timing, so the music sounded terrible. I should've stayed home and not wasted my time on it. Then again, Mom collected Sean, leaving him at home. So, either way, something bad would've happened. Either the boring wait and awful music or Sean's whining and bitching about everything. The former was probably a better choice in the end.

Games and Pranks

I never received any word from Richard yesterday after completely missing out on the project. It makes me wonder if I've annoyed him in some way by not showing up to the project yesterday due to my left eye. I honestly hope I haven't angered him. I know I annoyed one person with it, and that was Mom. She told me that having conjunctivitis was no reason to miss the project. But, I wouldn't have been any use if I did turn up as I'd have spent most of the day just trying to get my eye to stop hurting. Monday will be when I find out if Richard is angry with me. Here's to hoping he isn't.

I began playing Shadow of the Colossus yesterday (the PlayStation 2 version) because I had nothing else to do. The game has been sitting unopened for a while now, and I was really curious about it, so I opened it and placed it in my PS2. The game is amazing. The music is beautiful! Just climbing up the colossal monsters with that tune playing makes you feel like you're achieving something epic in scale. It's the kind of music I'd love to have playing in the background while building out at the youth project. Even moving a piece of light wood would make you feel like you're achieving something amazing, even though it's not that much of an epic thing.

If you've not played the game and therefore don't know the music I'm talking about, check out this video of the battle with Valus. Wouldn't you love to have that playing while you're working, to feel like everything you do is HUGE!?

Another game I began playing was a survival horror game called Obscure. That's a weird game. It's all set inside a school. The school is not one you'd want to be trapped inside of as one of the school staff, I think it was the principal, is experimenting on the unlucky students who get trapped inside the school after school is over for the day. Your characters become a part of this twisted experiment, and you must locate a cure before you become a monster yourself.

I'd never even heard of Obscure before seeing it in a YouTube video about the top...10 or 20 horror games. I forget if it was a Top 10 or a Top 20 list. So because of that, I can't link to the video. But, if you're interested in seeing the game, you can go onto YouTube and search for it.

I checked out a few comical videos on YouTube today, too, because my sister mentioned that one of the invisible rope pranks was featured on some TV show recently. I decided to look for that video again. I looked at some videos in the "related videos" part of the screen. Check out the videos below if you're interested.

Invisible Rope Prank.
Funny Video - Invisible Rope Prank.
Funny Pranks - Invisible Rope Prank II.
Drive-Thru Pranks.

How the hell did that happen!?

My day has now been completely ruined, and I wasted money on stuff I don't need, like the return train ticket to Lostwithiel.

After getting into Looe and buying myself food for the youth project today, my left eye started hurting. After getting on the train, my left eye started to hurt even more. I risked going to Liskeard, hoping that by some dumb luck, it would stop hurting and that I could proceed to Lostwithiel. But it continued to hurt badly.

I texted Richard saying:

Ok. I'm at Liskeard now, however I think I'm going to return home again as my left eye is hurting bad. I'm not even sure why. Think I'll return to Looe and see if I can see the doctor right away. Hopefully, they can fix it and I can come in later. Sorry.

I managed to see the doctor shortly after arriving home and explained it to him. He took a look and told me I had conjunctivitis, then prescribed some eye drops and told me to use them twice a day and that that would probably last about three days. All I could think to myself at the time was, "Three days of this pain? Wonderful. Just what I needed to hear...".

I text Richard again while in the pharmacy collecting my epilepsy pill and these eye drops. I wrote:

Turns out I have conjunctivitus or something. Apparently gonna have to deal with it for 3-4 days. So, won't be in today as I'll be no help since I'll be no help. I'm so sorry about this. Is there any possible website work I could do so I'm not completely useless today?

Now, I just realised after reading that text that I wrote "as I'll be no help since I'll be no help." Why exactly did I start that twice? I have no idea!

I haven't received a call or a text from Richard. I think that's for one of two reasons. Either the O2 signal is once again dead in Lostwithiel, or he's annoyed with me for not turning up. I would mostly bet on the first, but you never know. He could be angry with me for not turning up. Would being in a lot of pain make someone angry that you never showed up?

I'm seriously hoping that it's just the signal has gone down again.

Your troubles have a first name - It's "S-E-A-N"...

I'm not doing too well today.

After getting up to deliver papers, Mom asked me what I was doing at Grandfather's place yesterday. I told her that we were just talking. She got suspicious about that and asked if I was talking about Sean. I figured there was no point in lying about it because she'd find out from Grandfather anyway if she went and visited him, so I told her I only mentioned that he asked why I was visiting, and I told him that it was because Sean was here. She then seemed rather annoyed with me about it.

I didn't think mentioning Sean to him would get Mom in trouble or anything. Still, she thinks mentioning Sean to my Grandfather will get her in trouble. The question is, if she's so worried about getting in trouble with Grandfather, why does she bother bringing Sean here at all? She should know by now that Grandfather will find out one way or another. It doesn't matter if I mention it or not. Someone who knows her and knows Grandfather is going to say something.

Not too long ago, Mom came upstairs and said my name. I sighed and asked, "What?" then she snapped, saying, "Why do I even bother talking to you!?". I guess she must have heard the sigh. Now, the reason I sighed is because I thought she was just going to demand something like not telling ANYONE about that fucking asshole she's dating. It doesn't matter how much she tells me not to say anything about him to Grandfather and all, I'll still do it.

I'm not telling family or her friends this stuff just because I want to see her in trouble. The main reason is that...who else do I have to talk to about it all? I can talk to people online about it, but in the end, who will care online? No one can help me out. No matter how much I mention those things to people, no one really knows the guy, my mother, or my family. I can't talk to Mom about any of the things I find out because I know she won't believe any of the stuff. She'll tell me it's all lies, and Sean is nothing like that. Without proof, it's my word against his. That's exactly what Mom's friend, Mary, told me yesterday.

Mom will believe Sean's word over anything I say. She's completely blind to how much of a complete scumbag the guy is.

The only reason anyone yells at Mom is because we all care about her, and being around Sean, all she's doing is setting herself up for a HUGE fall. Once I move out, I'm sure Sean will move back into the house. There are a couple of reasons I believe that.

Firstly, Mom seems fixed on the idea of me moving out. She'll tell me it's nothing to do with that asshole, just that she thinks it'll be better for me. Travelling to the youth project on the train would be unnecessary. Sure, it'll be good not to have to do that, but I don't believe that's why she wants me out.

Secondly, Sean seems fixed on the idea of me moving out. Whenever he talks to me about that crap, all he seems to hear is, "I'm not moving out." or something because he'll go bitching to Mom about how I'm never going to move out.

Why would both of them seem obsessed with the idea of me moving out if the plan isn't to get rid of me so he can move back in without the worries of all the family knowing?

I have no idea what to do anymore. All I seem to be doing to Mom is upsetting her, but there's only one reason for that, a reason SHE can fix: Sean. All she needs to do is tell him to fuck off, and that'll be it. No more getting into trouble with family and friends. No more sighs and annoyed tones of voice from myself and others. The cause of all of her problems is HIM! Sadly, she doesn't see that and instead keeps him around...

"...chicken pushed me."

Today was one of the most entertaining days I've had in a while. The reason? Two girls. One is Richard's niece, who was a great laugh, and the other is her friend. They're staying with Richard for six weeks. I wish I charged up the battery on my camcorder to record some of the things they were saying and doing. That's something I'm going to have to do next week.

After being told about PaperSailship's channel, a friend suggested that I should make my own channel. I told her I already had one, but nothing was on it except two videos of Lucy Lawless with a squirrel. She then said that I should make some videos of my own. After a little while of talking about it, I said that I'd have to charge up my camcorder and show the woodlands where we're currently setting up the project. She liked that idea. It's a shame I didn't do it today because I'm sure people would have gotten a great laugh from Richard's niece and her friend.

One of the funniest moments with the girls was when Richard's niece fell down one of the muddy banks after the two had climbed up to the top of the woodlands. However, Richard, Erik and I weren't at the woodlands when this occurred. We were just told about it by the girls. Apparently, the chickens had followed the girls up, and they tried to coax the chickens back down again when she slipped. Richard's niece was then constantly claiming that the chicken had pushed her and that it was laughing at her. Half of the stuff she was claiming happened was pretty damn funny, and I just wish I'd had video evidence of it all.

I seriously hope that a lot of funny moments with the girls happen over the next few weeks because it would be great fun to record a lot of it and upload it to YouTube. I'm not sure if either of the girls will be too happy with me recording some of these humorous moments if/when they happen.

What I'm wondering now is, what will those girls be thinking after the six weeks are over? Will they be glad to be away from it all, or will they miss all of the fun moments?

If every day out there were as humorous as today with the girls, it would be horrible when they have to leave for home. No more hilarious claims of chickens conspiring to hurt her and all of that kind of stuff.

I have some crazy friends

Today, I decided to check out the YouTube account of one of my Yahoo! friends. Her ID on YouTube? It's PaperSailship.

Now, I know that a few of her videos may seem somewhat childish, but I think she's fantastic in that silly attitude kind of way. In Yahoo! chatrooms, she can act a little crazy, but that makes her loveable to a lot of people. She will sometimes preach about the Nomz, which I guess you could say is like a "God".

A couple of videos were being talked about in the chatroom, which were sadly set to private at the time. When I noticed that she was back online again, I asked her to make those videos public again and that she shouldn't be ashamed of the silliness of the videos. They're great for a laugh if you're the kind of person who doesn't mind silliness. If you're a more serious kind of person, then her messing around in the videos may seem very childish to you.

Here are a couple of her videos that made me laugh.

Ghosts. It may be possible that this video came to be after I mentioned to her that I'd seen ghosts in my house and even showed her a picture of one. However, I don't know if that was the reason for it. After all, she made the video about three weeks ago, and I can't remember if I told her about the ghosts before that or whether it was only a week or so ago. Either way, what happens is pretty funny when her brother acts like a ghost. Take a look and see for yourself!
dog. The dog in this video has the kind of look on its face that just says, "What the fuck are you talking about?" It's rather amusing to see.
Waffle Radio three point 0. Have you ever heard of an Oprah singer? You will have after seeing THIS video!
songzin. A beautiful song for Chris Hansen. I'm sure the guy must be proud to have such a lovely song about him!
Nitty. This video is aimed at another person I know from the Yahoo! chatrooms. Paper and her friend get extremely giggly in this video. It's cute, and amusing

Now, the question is, how old would you think that PaperSailship is? From the sound of her voice, I'm sure that no one will accurately guess her age (Unless someone reading this already knows her)

Well, if you check out any of her videos, I hope you enjoy them and get a little bit of a laugh out of them.

Also, today, I had to make an appointment to see the doctor again. Like last Thursday, I ironically got to see the same doctor who refused to accept my request today. What I had to get from him last week was a Medical Certificate to say that I do have epilepsy. Still, he insisted that if they needed something like that to sort out my benefits, they'd request one themselves. Earlier this week, I received a letter from them telling me I should keep sending in medical certificates until I finish some work evaluation. I showed him that letter today, and he believed me then and filled out the medical certificate for me.

I wonder why he didn't believe me last week when I told him.

"I'm gonna be a stripper!"

I've been worried after a conversation about two days ago with an old friend.

On Monday evening (at least...I think it was Monday), I signed onto Yahoo! Messenger, and she messaged me. Not too long after messaging me, she stated that she was going to be a stripper. I'm not sure if it was a joke, but for some reason, I think she was being serious about it, which worries me. A lot of things can happen to a stripper, and I don't want any of those things to happen to her. Sadly, there's not much I can do if she's serious about it. I can't stop her. I don't think I'll see her online much if she is serious. She'll end up as one of those friends who I rarely ever see.

I told Richard on Monday when I went to the youth project about what I'd heard about Sean on Saturday. I don't think he was surprised at all, but then again, who would be? I'm sure I've stated enough information about him here and in other places that a lot of people will know by now that the guy is a no-good scumbag. I almost feel sorry for this Christine woman because she has NO idea what the fuck she's getting herself into by dating that asshole. Hopefully, she'll be wiser than my mom and get the fuck away as soon as possible.

"So, how's Christine?"

Once again, I learn something new about Sean. Even worse, I get home to find that Mom isn't here. She left to see that asshole.

Apparently, Sean's gone and started dating a 56-year-old named Christine. When someone asked him, "Aren't you dating a woman named Lynne?" he replied, "No. I'm just a lodger. I just rent a room from her." It just goes to further prove that the guy is a colossal scumbag. I told the person who told me this: "Next time I see him, I'll have to ask "So, how is Christine?". If I did that, what would his reaction be? Knowing the guy, I'm sure he'll say, "Who? I don't know any Christine."

I could also ask him, "So, where's the rent money?" Once again, I'm sure the reply would be, "What are you talking about?"

I'm sure some people would say, "But you're just being told a lie." However, I'd believe that lie from someone I know rather than accept something Sean says. I don't think it's a lie at all, though. He's that much of a scumbag. Mom is just letting herself in for a HUGE disappointment. She'd better wise up to the fact before letting him move back in, else she's going to lose her family, and when Mom wakes up to the fact he's a lying scumbag, she'll have nothing left.

A weird week

It's been a weird week this week.

Erik has joined us again on the project. Richard and I had worked with him before on a work experience week he'd had at school. Recently, he was removed from school because of a lot of problems and has joined us again. Hopefully, he will be helping us out quite a bit now. It'll be great to have another pair of hands on board.

His first day back with us wasn't the greatest. He rejoined us on Wednesday, the day Richard talked about getting the lads started on a general gardening/maintenance/dog walking/house sitting, etc.: a business he'd planned to get them started on. Because of this, there wasn't much for Erik and me to do other than listen in on it. When the guys took a break, Richard started discussing a business idea with Erik and me. After hearing all that stuff, he later asked if we think we could run a business for ourselves. At this moment, the answer would be no. Neither Erik nor I are that good at conversing with people. I'm sure that could change, but currently, the answer would be a no.

Today was a little more interesting for Erik because we got to do some work. Firstly, we had to sort out a Facebook-like icon on Rob Rowett's website. That was completed in no time.

The second task was to work on a website called Gucu. Erik asked what we should do with the site, and I mentioned that Richard said we should play around with it a little. This is where we got a little silly. Erik's first idea was to add Teletubbies to the website. The logo was changed to a HUGE picture of 2 Pokemon mixed into one. I can't recall the combination of the Pokemon, though. He then made the background out of a My Little Pony character. Finally, we created a webpage and embedded a YouTube video of a song with He-Man in it. The video was called He Man sings 4 Non Blondes (Original). Richard returned not too long after that, and we were laughing hard. Richard didn't see what we'd done to the site because we immediately had to remove all the stupid things we'd done, and we were told not to mess around with websites like that.

I'd screwed around with a website before when I had to add things to it, but I know why he got a little angry about that one because it was for a company. The Gucu website is apparently one of Richard's sites, though, so I thought it would be ok to mess around a little. But that wasn't ok at all. I'll have to remember that for next time. No screwing around with any websites.

I didn't have such a great day yesterday. A friend I hadn't seen since February had returned to chat, yet I couldn't remember anything about her. I felt fucking horrible when I mentioned it, and I think she probably hates me a little now for that. The sad thing is, I didn't forget her on purpose. I've been running into a memory problem a lot lately; sadly, she's one of the memories that has completely gone. I wouldn't be surprised if she completely hates me now for forgetting her. What can I do though? I can't go back in time and note everything down so I'd remember...sadly.

I hope that she'll forgive me. It's not like I wanted to forget her. I wish I'd never had to have gone to that DMT place. If it weren't for that place, I might not have developed epilepsy, and I wouldn't have a memory problem, either! But then again, if I hadn't had these problems, would I have met Richard and been involved in this youth project? How much different would things be if that crash never happened? Would they be better or worse than what I have now?

Jammed again

Once again, the house's front door has gotten jammed. It's annoying because it was only repaired on Monday. Five days later, it's busted again. We're going to be exiting via the backdoor of the house for a while again.

My brother and my uncle repaired the door on Monday, and I can see my uncle becoming very annoyed that it's already busted again; that is if he comes to fix it again. It's going to be a colossal hassle again.

The Nintendo DS game that I ordered from Amazon UK finally arrived today. It sure took the seller a long time to put it in the mail. I ordered the game on the 23rd of June, and it was only posted yesterday. I wonder what the hell took them so long to send it. Usually, it's sent within 2-3 days if you choose the Super Saver delivery option, not a couple of weeks. The game is a puzzle game called Chronicles of Mystery: Curse of the Ancient Temple.

After reading about the game on Wikipedia, I decided to go to YouTube to watch some videos of the game. I came across the entry for Chronicles of Mystery: The Scorpio Ritual, which is on the PC. The Scorpio Ritual and Curse of the Ancient Temple seem to be the same game, but the PC version looks much better; it's more like a point-and-click game than a puzzle game. Sadly, my computer probably wouldn't run the game. I'd love to try out the PC version. I'll have to settle for watching a YouTube walkthrough of it for now until I can finally get myself a new computer.

Will I get anywhere with this?

It was a rather short day out at The Street Outreach Project today.

I arrived at the woodlands to find that Richard had to go to the doctor, so I was left alone to do one of two jobs. I could either hammer some nails out of a piece of wood or nail up a piece of plywood. I opted for getting the nails out (or at least attempting to).

I managed to get out a few before Richard returned. Once he'd returned, he told me he couldn't do any more work today because he'd apparently busted his shoulder. So, instead, we went to do some computer work. This only lasted a short time, too. After being there for about 45 minutes, Richard told me he had to head home because he was feeling ill and dizzy. I left to catch the next train home.

I got home, and luckily, I didn't see Sean there, so I immediately got on the phone to try and claim this Employment and Support Benefit. Hopefully, I haven't screwed myself over with that because if I can get this, then I can possibly also get housing benefit, meaning that I could move to Lostwithiel and be close to the project. That would be a HUGE benefit to me. No more hour-long train journeys, and no more Sean! That'll be a dream come true!

I watched the school video once again today and was looking out for Adam because the first time watching it; I'd completely missed seeing him. I saw him in the video today, though. It was sad to see him in the video, knowing he's no longer around.

I've got to contact Richard tomorrow and see how he's feeling. I had a horrible thought not too long after getting home because he was telling me he was feeling dizzy. He had to drive himself home, and I'm curious if he made it back ok. I'm sure he has, but I must find out tomorrow. I'd have done it today, but since he's feeling unwell, it's best to let him rest. He could be sleeping, and I'd hate to wake him. So, that's something I've got to remember to do tomorrow.

Memories

It's been a nice day today.

I arrived at the project today to find that the weather wouldn't be as miserable as expected. Richard had to run off to sort something out, and I was left alone in the woodland for about an hour or so. I attempted to clear as much of this one area of the woodland as possible. After my arm started hurting, I walked down to the Royal Talbot to meet up with Richard.

I didn't do any more work after that.

I returned home to find a fair was being held at the old community school, so I decided to check it out. Disappointingly, there was nothing much there. I wondered how much the school had changed, so I asked if I could walk around the school and see what had changed. That was a bit of fun.

I discovered that an old video of myself and some classmates had been posted on Facebook. It was recorded in 1993 for some pen pals we had at the time who lived in Wales. It's incredible to see this video again.

If interested, view the video here.

Jammed

It's a good thing that I didn't have to go to the youth project today. The reason? Well, the front door is completely jammed. I unlocked it and tried to open it to go to the store and buy myself some food, but soon found that the door would not budge. Something is catching on the doorframe and preventing the door from opening. In the end, I had to leave via the back door. The problem with doing that is that you can only stay out for a short time because anyone can access the house.

I told my grandfather about it when I met him at the store, and he remarked on how stupid it was that we always had trouble at the house. He then asked me if people had been slamming the door. I told him that some people do on occasion, and he remarked that it's possible that a screw or something has shaken loose and is snagging on the doorframe.

I had to call Mom and my sister to tell them they will have to knock on the door when they come home so I can let them in via the back door because there's no way they're getting in through the front door. Mom will have to contact someone to fix it.

I bumped into my neighbour on my way home from the store. She asked if Mom had contacted this solar panel company yet. I have no idea if she has, so I'll have to ask her once she gets home.

I had a couple of text messages from Richard yesterday. One told me not to bother coming into the youth project today because he was going somewhere and asking if I could do some work on The Street Outreach Project's website. The second told me he was going to make me an admin of the Facebook group for The Street Outreach Project. He asked me if I could add photos from the project to the group and make a couple of posts.

I did the work on the TSOP site, but haven't done anything on the Facebook group yet.

I did some editing on my own website. However, it seems that Richard has been playing around on my website as some taglines had been added, and I didn't put them there myself.

Two deaths...

I've heard about two deaths in two days now.

While on the train heading to Lostwithiel yesterday, I got a call from Richard telling me about the death of another of his dogs. At first, I'd misheard what he said because of the noise on the train.

What I thought I heard was "Justin had a seizure today, and died", or something along those lines anyway. It turns out what he told me was that Muffin had died.

It only happened yesterday too. He asked me if I wanted to help him bury Muffin, and I said I would. We built a raised bed area for him and buried him in the raised bed. We got a few plants for him and planted them in the raised bed.

It was a sad day yesterday, but it was a different kind of sad to when we had to bury Rachel. Muffin had lived for about 15 years or so. He had a long, joy-filled life with Richard and his family. However, Rachel was taken from the world way too early.

Anyway, Rest In Peace, Muffin. Your family and friends will dearly miss you.

I'd heard about the other death today.

After collecting the Betterware catalogues I delivered, I discovered a note inside one of them. I'm not 100% sure which house it's from, but I have an idea, and I hope I'm wrong about it.

The note reads:

Sorry to tell you my mum has passed away.

She would want me to thank you for all the bits from Betterware.

Janet.

I think this note is from one of the bungalows: an old lady who was hard of sight and hearing. I hope it isn't that lady, but I'm pretty sure it is. The question is: how can I find out for certain?

I'm thinking about going around to the house tomorrow after I get back from the youth project and looking through the window to see if I can see anyone home. If not, knock on the door and maybe even try to let myself in, as I generally did when delivering things to her. Hopefully, I'll find she's there, but I'm thinking I won't.

Interesting week so far

It's been an interesting week so far this week.

I walked into town on Monday to catch the train to the youth project, only for the train to never show up. Usually, it arrives at around 9:04, but I waited there from around 8:50 until 9:40 before giving up and walking over to the west side of the town to visit my sister.

Richard called me just before I arrived at my sister's place, wondering where I was since he was waiting for me at the train station in Lostwithiel. I had to explain to him that the train never showed up. I wasn't the only one bothered by the train not showing. About 15 other people walked away, annoyed as hell because of the train not showing.

The train showed up on Tuesday. So, what did we do at the project? We had to move some more cladding from the old field to the woodland area to clad the walls some more. We only got about two pieces up, though.

Moving the wood itself was interesting. While moving it, it bounced around in the back of the van a lot and ended up falling out of the back of the van about 2 to 3 times before we managed to get it all secured in the van. At one point, it was amusing because we had a van come up behind us, so Richard had to continue driving up the road with the wood dragging along the floor. I had to run after the van because I was behind it, trying to pack the wood back into it. I didn't have time to get it back into the van before the other van arrived.

We also had to return a computer to Bits & PCs in St Austell. I've no idea what was wrong with it. It was running Windows Vista, though, so that's a good reason it wasn't working. Haha.

I was supposed to meet Richard at his sister-in-law's place yesterday. However, when I turned up, he wasn't there, and she had to call Richard to find out where he was. At this point, I found out I was meant to be working with his wife at the woodlands, moving compost, and trying to light a couple of fires. I failed badly at trying to light the fires. I think the wood was a little damp to light. I used some magazine paper. That would catch fire, but the wood wouldn't catch at all.

I filled one of the raised flowerbeds with compost but had nowhere else to place compost. An area next to the shed will become more raised flowerbeds made from pallets. However, a tree had to be cut down to build one of these pallet-raised flowerbeds. So, that was the next job I did. At first, I was trying to calculate which angle to cut it at to miss the trampoline we now have on the land. Once I started cutting the tree, Richard showed up. That was lucky for his wife because she needed the van to go and pick up their daughter. It was about 11:50 at that point. I got around halfway through the tree; I felt hot, so I removed my coat. As I placed it in the shed, I heard the tree crack and thought, "Oh shit!" I could see it starting to fall. I stood there thinking, "Please miss the trampoline! Please miss! Please miss!" Luckily, it missed the trampoline, but not by much. I only JUST got the correct angle on the cut.

The weather started to look miserable, so Richard and I headed down to The Royal Talbot, where some youths he works with were gathered for lunch. This was one of the more frustrating parts of the day. The Cornwall School for Social Entrepreneurs have these youths on a course. One event they had planned in the Talbot was a Big Brother eviction-like thing. The reason for that was that some of the youths, although all doing the same thing during the day, were messing around and not taking it seriously. At least, that's what was implied from what I heard.

Once some youths heard about this planned eviction event, some were ready to give up and walk out. That's before they even listened to what the point of it was. I was frustrated that they just wanted to give up rather than take part in it and see what the point of it was.

The event was for the youths to justify why they should be allowed to stay if they were voted to be evicted for the day. Explain what they would do differently in the afternoon rather than screwing around.

We went to the Restormal Lodge Hotel after this. I did some work on The Street Outreach Project's website. I created a couple of pages. One called Things We Do, and a sub-page under that called Web Hosting.

I've been asked by Richard today to do some more work on The Street's website, adding information to People We Love, and also some more to Things We Do.

I think I've achieved as much as I can with People We Love. I'm sure more can be added to a couple of the sub-pages, but I'm unsure what to put. My mind is drawing a complete blank at the moment. But then, I can't think of anything else to put in because I have never dealt with the two companies. I have no idea what I can say about them. It would be better if Richard added something extra to those pages to say thank you to them. There is one sub-page for People We Love that I can't do at all because I've no idea who the person is, and I can't find any information about them online. Richard will have to cover that page himself unless he can explain to me who the person is and what they do. It'll be skipped over for now.

All I have to do now is add some more pages to Things We Do, but my mind is drawing a complete blank on that at the moment. I'll have to work on this later.

Sunday was an odd day. I don't know what happened, but there seems to have been a fire or something at the retirement home just across the road from where I live. While delivering papers in the morning, I could smell the awful smell of burned plastic. That was when I noticed four completely melted plastic vents on the wall. Above them is a small footbridge, and draped across that is a "Caution: No Entry" banner. Something in the room just across the footbridge must've caught fire, as you're not allowed to enter that room. But what happened? I really should find out because I've been curious about it all.

Could it be her creator?

After reading some of the information about Tomb Raider 2013 on Stella's Tomb Raider Site, an official fan website for the series, I can't wait to find out who this "outside writer" is. Check it out.

According to the developers, the storyline is a vital component of the game. Stewart says it's a collaboration between in-house and outside writers. "We're not going to announce [who] just yet, but I think people will be very happy, because it'll bring a lot of trust to a lot of people when they hear it." He also intimated that the choice of writers may lay to rest some of the fans' concerns about Lara being portrayed as a digital sex symbol but would not reval more just yet. Could it be Lara's creator, Toby Gard?

I'm willing to bet that it's either Lara's creator, Tony Gard, or one of the people who worked with Core Design on the original games. Either way, when the fans find out, will they complain that it's deviating too much from the usual Tomb Raider style? You can't complain if one of the original team is involved, especially if it's Lara and Tomb Raider's creator Tony Gard.

I hope the outside writer will be revealed sometime this year to lay to rest any worries people have about the game.

I can't wait for the game to be released. I know it's a change from previous Tomb Raider games. However, seeing Lara overcome all the problems in this game, changing from an inexperienced student to the woman we all know now, will be amazing! She seems much more human in this game, too!

Let's see what happens.

I hope that it IS Lara's creator. I'm sure a bunch of negative fans will change their opinions then.

Crossroads

I noticed a new trailer while looking at a bookmarked page for Tomb Raider 2013. On YouTube, the upload date says that it was only just uploaded yesterday (the 2nd of June).

The new trailer, titled "Crossroads", shows some of what's going to happen to Lara after she escapes the caves at the beginning of the game. My jaw dropped at how amazing the game is looking so far. I really can't wait for the game. The trailer also showed a release date, the one thing I've been waiting to see!

5th March 2013!

Sadly, it seems that other Tomb Raider fans are not interested in the game. There are several comments stating that this game is going to be the worst Tomb Raider ever. I'm afraid I have to disagree. I think it's going to be fucking amazing!

Here are some of the comments dismissing the game before it's even released.

"I disagree with you. Tomb Raider 9 will not do well at all."

"I completely agree with you. Tomb Raider 9 is a disappointment. The series did not need a reboot. It was perfect the way it was."

"I'm sorry, but this just doesn't look like Tomb Raider anymore. I've liked all the games released so far, but this looks less like Tomb Raider and more like a horror/thriller film with someone who looks like Lara Croft. The graphics are pretty good, but the trailer itself isn't getting my hopes up"

Won't be buying this. It saddens me TR has gone downhill instead of up. I was disappointed in all the CD TR games, and now it's M-rated with blood, a horror atmosphere, and what looks to be some strong sexual content. It seems like every other game out there these days. I'll stick with the originals."

This comment amuses me. If you look back at Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness, which you could count as one of the "original" Tomb Raider series as it was created by Core Design, there was blood in that, it was more mature than the previous five games, and there was quite a sexual looking scene between Lara and Kurtis in the Louvre level. How is that different to what they're doing with Tomb Raider 2013?

Anyway, it doesn't really matter. People can all have their opinions of the game. Still, there's no reason to dismiss the game before it's released just because it's different. I love the game's look and can't wait until the 5th of March 2013 to buy it.

Very little doubt left

Although there is still a little doubt about this, I am pretty sure now that mom and that major asshole are still dating.

Yesterday, mom was apparently talking to my brother about it all, and he told her something like he was annoyed and that they're probably still dating, and she apparently replied to him "So what if I am?". That kind of thing makes you assume that they really are still dating.

Later on in the day, the asshole told mom "I love you!" rather loudly, and mom replied "I love you too, darling". Even more material to make you assume they're still partners.

At one point yesterday, the asshole told my sister that she should grow up and some other crap, and sister packed up her things saying she was going home. The asshole apparently stormed out of the house at this point, and mom was angry with my sister and was telling her to get back in the house, but she didn't listen. I never witnessed the asshole leaving, or the growing up speech as I was sleeping, but was soon woken by mom's yelling and shaking the hell out of my bedroom door. She then wanted me to go and talk my sister into coming back.

I really had no idea if I could catch up with my sister as I had no idea which direction she'd gone. From where I am, there are several different paths to take to get into town, so had to just go with an assumption of direction and hope I was going the right way. Luckily, the assumption was correct. She was stood about a quarter of the way down the line, really upset. Spoke to her for about 20 minutes just asking her what the hell happened, and insulting the asshole because he really doesn't deserve to be with anyone.

After getting her back into the house, mom was talking to us for about 30 minutes, then she went to sleep, and my sister, my youngest brother and I proceeded to walk down to my grandfather's place. Explained to him that we all wanted to get out of the house due to the asshole being around. Although he wasn't around at the time, it was inevitable that he'd end up returning. He seems to turn up daily now, which is a major fucking pain in the ass. None of us want him here, and mom constantly ends up crying and accusing us of not wanting her to be happy. Clearly, as long as he's around, she's never going to be happy anyway. All it will take is for one of us to die or something, and if mom remotely cares about us, she'll be upset, mourning us, and the asshole, just as he did with an old school friend's mother, will walk out on mom because he's not getting all of the attention.

How can anyone be happy with a person like that.

Anyway, as my brother has told me, it's fine. If she wants to see him, that's her stupid ass choice, but none of us want to see him around. It's basically true really. If she wants to be retarded and date a complete and utter asshole who isn't happy unless all the attention is focused on him, fine. Just don't make us have to deal with the fucking asshole.

Akira remake cancelled!

I was watching Ghost In The Shell videos on YouTube earlier when I noticed in the related videos a video of the bike scene from Akira; another amazing anime movie.

Noticing the top comment that read "As of January 5th, the project's been cancelled. And let us all hope it stays that way.". I noticed that it was a reply to another comment, I decided to click "Show the comment". This comment read "Bad news fans Hollywood is making a live action version and Bella from twilight and the guy from tron is going to be in it. Sucks right".

How does this suck? I think it's great news that the live-action version of the movie was cancelled. I didn't realize they were going to make a live-action version of it, but I know that it wouldn't have been any good at all.

I've never seen a live-action movie of a video game/cartoon/anime that is actually good. The reason for that is mostly because there's no way you can make the monsters and all of that convincing. The 2 video game movies that I've seen that I actually enjoy aren't live-action. The first is Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. The second is Resident Evil: Degeneration. They're both computer animated, which is how any video game movie should be.

Personally, if Akira were ever to be remade, it should either be hand-drawn again, or animated with computers. But honestly, it doesn't need remaking. It's perfect just the way it is. I've no idea why anyone would want to remake classic movies like that because there's nothing you can really improve. Sure, you could say the animation is out of date, as I've noticed some people have been saying in the comments on some Ghost In The Shell videos, but who gives a fuck? It's meant to be like that. There's no need to improve it.

A question to people out there is "Are there any movies you enjoy that you would hate to see remade (preferably classic movies that have no remake yet)?"

EDIT: Ok. It was bought to my attention in the comments that the comment about Bella and the Tron guy starring in the live-action remake of Akira "Sucks right" wasn't about the live-action movie being cancelled, but rather about them remaking it. That actually makes a lot more sense in terms of the comment. I've no idea why I didn't actually pick up on that before, because the cancelled comment had the reply, not the other way around. What was I thinking at the time, I wonder.

"None of you want me to be happy"

"None of you want me to be happy, do you!?" - Yeah...when this kind of thing comes from mom, it just tells me "I'm still dating Sean, and you all hate him, meaning I can't be happy!" It's no wonder why she's constantly asking/demanding us to move out. Wants us out of the way so Sean can move back in and she can be "happy". Delusional comes to mind. "Happy" and Sean don't belong together in a sentence. She's delusional...completely.

Hopefully on Tuesday, Richard and I will be trying to sort me out somewhere to live in Lostwithiel. That way, I can be happy. I won't have to deal with this shit anymore! No more train travel to get to The Street Outreach Project, and no more Sean!

The past couple of days haven't been all that great because of the heat. I ended up with a bit of sunburn working out in the sun. I tried to stick to the shade as much as possible, but that sadly didn't work out like I was hoping.

On Thurday, 24th May, I ended up missing my usual train home (15:58), and ended up having to take the next train home (17:14). I had a bit of a wait in Liskeard for the train back to Looe. The train arrived in Liskeard at about 17:30, and the next train to Looe wasn't until 18:01. Had to sit around waiting for about 30 minutes for it.

After getting into Looe, I bumped into my brother who was running into town. He warned me to be careful when going home because Sean was there. At that moment, I thought "Oh great...now what the fuck am I going to do?" I honestly didn't want to return home after I found that out. I hate being anywhere NEAR Sean. So instead, I walked out toward the beach to see if Ash (a border collie) was outside. He was. There was a sign by the door that read something like "I like to play catch, but I hate to be stroked." I went to stroke him. He really doesn't care. I've stroked him a whole bunch of times and have never been bitten.

I'll let you know how much he hates being stroked. After one guy walked by, he pointed out the sign and said "That sign says he doesn't like being stroked." Not too long after that, another guy came across, picked up Ash's tennis ball, and threw it to Ash. He jumped off of the wall, looked at the ball, then jumped back onto the wall to be stroked some more. Shows how much he hates it, doesn't it?

I told a friend that next time, I'll take pictures of the sign, Ash, and me petting Ash.

Room for Improvement

It's been a rather interesting day today. Never actually got any work done out at the Wild Woods today. Main reason for that - we were busy with other things. Actually, I should say that Richard was busy with other things. I wasn't really busy with anything. Haha.

I got a call from Richard at about 10:10 saying he was going to be about another 30 minutes due to the youths being late for their ride to...where-ever they're currently going with the course they do on Wednesdays. I decided to walk around town for about 10 minutes before heading out to the Wild Woods. While there, I took a few pictures of the place, and then I basically just sat around for...I've no idea how long...until Richard showed up.

That's when I was talked to about the funding they're going to try to get for me. To put in the bid, they've got to list what I want to achieve from all of this, and what the final outcomes will be (hopefully). One goal is definitely something I need to have worked on, and that is my social skills. I think that anyone who I know locally (and even via the internet) knows that I am awful at social interaction. I can never do anything well when it comes to interacting with people in person.

It's odd because online, on chat programs, I can interact with people really well, but in person - I'm a failure. I just can't do it. It's something I know to improve for certain if I want to get anywhere, but I dunno...I'm not sure what stops me from interacting with people. Actually, I'm sure I can sum it up well. All it takes is one word - fear. I'm afraid I'm going to make a complete arse of myself; get laughed at; ridiculed. But, how do I get over that? Will I ever get over it? I guess we'll find out.

Soon to be homeless?

I've not been having too much of a good time lately.

On Thursday, mom had her "ex"-boyfriend back over here in the house, even though she'd promised her brother/my uncle that she'd never let him back into the house again. He started trying to argue with us all again, and was claiming that mom apparently told us a while ago that she was planning on selling the house and get a two bedroom place, but all we did was laugh.

Odd. I don't recall her ever saying she was going to sell the house, and if she did, I certainly would not laugh at the possibility of ending up homeless if I can't find somewhere to live.

I asked mom after her "ex"-boyfriend had left if she was really serious about selling the house, and apparently she is. My brother and I apparently only have two months to find somewhere to live before she puts the house on the market.

However, this kind of changed yesterday when I was talking to mom again about it. She was saying that she may or may not sell the house. It depends. What I'm betting is the "depends" is whether or not my brother and I have moved out. I'm sure if we haven't, she'll go ahead and do it, but if we have, she probably won't.

Personally, I think Sean talked her into the whole thing.

I spoke to three people about it yesterday, saying that if she is going ahead with it, there's a possibility that all the paper deliveries will be stopped because it's my brother's business, and if he can't find a place to live in town, then it's very likely the whole thing will stop. I told these people that mom claims her and her "ex"-boyfriend are "just friends". It seems, however, that I'm not alone on not believing that. We all believe that it's bullshit and she's still with him.

It'll all become more obvious in a couple of months I'm sure. Why? I reckon once my brother and I have moved out, she's going to let Sean back in to live with her. I've no real doubt about that.

I know that if that does happen, she's going to lose a lot of family, if not all her family. My brother and I aren't going to want anything to do with her. My uncle and aunt won't for sure. I'm sure my grandfather may not want anything to do with her. Is she going to risk losing her family and some friends just for one person? Is that dickhead really fucking worth it?

He's gone! PARTY!

OH MY FUCKING GOD! He's gone! He's finally fucking gone!

A couple of days ago, I posted a status on Facebook saying how I was worried for my family's safety due to the fact that Mom's now ex-boyfriend's moods rapidly change in a nano-second. One moment he can be kind of nice, then bam...total psycho.

Happened twice in the same day a couple of days ago.

Firstly because my 27 year old brother turned off the bathroom light while Mom's ex-boyfriend was going toilet; the light didn't need to be on. It was broad daylight. Light was pouring in through the bathroom windows. The light being on didn't make the room any brighter. He flipped out over that because it was "too dark" to read the newspaper. Bullshit.

Secondly because Mom had been out for the night and had a drink. He flipped out about that too, claiming that Mom was drunk. He broke a mug and all when that happened. This was in the middle of the fucking night.

I'd talked to my aunt about it all when she saw my status, and she said she'd talk to Mom about how worried I am for everyone since her ex-boyfriend was a loose cannon. Mom agreed that something needed to be done, and that if he didn't change, he's out for good.

I was talking to Richard about it today, and he was surprised that Mom said she'd throw him out. At the end of the day, before I caught the train home, he told me I'd get home and Mom's ex-boyfriend would be gone. I told him that'll only be if I'm lucky.

I arrived home to find the front door locked, and at that exact moment, I knew he was gone!

I'm extremely happy right now! I just wanna bounce around screaming with excitement, I'm that happy.

Sleep-cooking?

Once again we enter into The Blame Game. That's what I'm going to call this bullshit from Sean from now on.

This time, it's about cooking. Who's to blame? Me.

I've no idea what's been happening, or what the conversation was about, but I overheard something about someone cooking stuff "after" Sean's gone to bed. While he was in Mom's room, I went downstairs to ask who the fuck he was talking about, and it was me, just like I thought.

It's funny because I'm usually asleep before Sean even comes upstairs. So, unless I've started "sleep-cooking", there's no way in fucking hell that it's me.

I'll admit that in the past I did leave cooking stuff until after he'd gone to bed because I didn't want his fucking commentary about how I've "overcooked" something, or "undercooked" something. However, since I started attending The Street Outreach Project, I'm never up for long enough to do that. Hell, I haven't even bought food to cook personally. I just buy stuff from the fish & chip place, or have something like...a sandwich or a microwave thing.

As far as I know, I don't sleep-cook. If I did, what the fuck do I do with the food? Where the hell do I get the food from too? Surely I don't sleep-walk into town, sleep-buy something, sleep-walk home, sleep-cook whatever it is, sleep-eat it, sleep-clean the dishes, then lay down and continue sleeping. If that's what is happening, then I'm pretty fucking amazed. That would be YouTube worthy material!