I saw a doctor today about the seizure I had on Sunday. I'd described, as best as I could, what I saw during the seizure. For the entire thing, I had this severe feeling of deja vu. I felt like I'd experienced that moment way too many times before. Seriously, it began with me reading through an old blog, and I was correcting old entries of it on Grammarly.
In one entry, I came across a video recorded back when I was in primary school. The video showed our Welsh penpals what our town was like. After this video, it automatically switched to a video about video games in the 90s. I swear I'd seen the channel name before. While watching that, I was scratching at my neck. I felt this horrible sense that I'd already experienced that moment 100s of times. But why? How did I live that moment before? Everything around me, from my body movements to things I saw and heard, felt like something I'd experienced before. Had I dreamed of the moment in the past? What happened to me?
I have the feeling I was having an epileptic seizure, only I was aware of everything, unlike previous seizures. And the deja vu feeling caused by that seizure was terrifying. I was saying things like, "If I walked down to that corner and jumped off of it, someone would laugh", or "If I killed myself, I'd find myself waking up back in 2003." I mentioned 2003 many times in this deja vu seizure, but why? What's so special about 2003? What happened back in 2003 that made me so fixed on that year?
The doctor didn't know what to say about it. He just told me, my girlfriend, and my Mom that it was so weird that he couldn't explain it. He just said he'd refer it to the epilepsy specialists I've seen in the past. He claims that they'd probably call me about it within two weeks.
I called my Dad at about 8 pm to tell him what happened at the appointment. He asked me if I'd talked to the doctor about my trouble sleeping recently. I thought, "Fuck. I completely forgot to ask him about that." If the epilepsy specialists call back within two weeks, I'll have to ask if they have any suggestions about how to sort that out. For now, I'll hope that these sleep aid pills that I've taken over the past two days are helping.
