I'm not doing too well today.
After getting up to deliver papers, Mom asked me what I was doing at Grandfather's place yesterday. I told her that we were just talking. She got suspicious about that and asked if I was talking about Sean. I figured there was no point in lying about it because she'd find out from Grandfather anyway if she went and visited him, so I told her I only mentioned that he asked why I was visiting, and I told him that it was because Sean was here. She then seemed rather annoyed with me about it.
I didn't think mentioning Sean to him would get Mom in trouble or anything. Still, she thinks mentioning Sean to my Grandfather will get her in trouble. The question is, if she's so worried about getting in trouble with Grandfather, why does she bother bringing Sean here at all? She should know by now that Grandfather will find out one way or another. It doesn't matter if I mention it or not. Someone who knows her and knows Grandfather is going to say something.
Not too long ago, Mom came upstairs and said my name. I sighed and asked, "What?" then she snapped, saying, "Why do I even bother talking to you!?". I guess she must have heard the sigh. Now, the reason I sighed is because I thought she was just going to demand something like not telling ANYONE about that fucking asshole she's dating. It doesn't matter how much she tells me not to say anything about him to Grandfather and all, I'll still do it.
I'm not telling family or her friends this stuff just because I want to see her in trouble. The main reason is that...who else do I have to talk to about it all? I can talk to people online about it, but in the end, who will care online? No one can help me out. No matter how much I mention those things to people, no one really knows the guy, my mother, or my family. I can't talk to Mom about any of the things I find out because I know she won't believe any of the stuff. She'll tell me it's all lies, and Sean is nothing like that. Without proof, it's my word against his. That's exactly what Mom's friend, Mary, told me yesterday.
Mom will believe Sean's word over anything I say. She's completely blind to how much of a complete scumbag the guy is.
The only reason anyone yells at Mom is because we all care about her, and being around Sean, all she's doing is setting herself up for a HUGE fall. Once I move out, I'm sure Sean will move back into the house. There are a couple of reasons I believe that.
Firstly, Mom seems fixed on the idea of me moving out. She'll tell me it's nothing to do with that asshole, just that she thinks it'll be better for me. Travelling to the youth project on the train would be unnecessary. Sure, it'll be good not to have to do that, but I don't believe that's why she wants me out.
Secondly, Sean seems fixed on the idea of me moving out. Whenever he talks to me about that crap, all he seems to hear is, "I'm not moving out." or something because he'll go bitching to Mom about how I'm never going to move out.
Why would both of them seem obsessed with the idea of me moving out if the plan isn't to get rid of me so he can move back in without the worries of all the family knowing?
I have no idea what to do anymore. All I seem to be doing to Mom is upsetting her, but there's only one reason for that, a reason SHE can fix: Sean. All she needs to do is tell him to fuck off, and that'll be it. No more getting into trouble with family and friends. No more sighs and annoyed tones of voice from myself and others. The cause of all of her problems is HIM! Sadly, she doesn't see that and instead keeps him around...
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