I think I pretty much let everyone down today.
I woke up feeling pretty fucking lousy, and having Sean around really did not help that at all. On the way to the youth project in Lostwithiel, I found out that my usual train from Liskeard to Lostwithiel was utterly packed from announcements at the station about why the train was delayed. As the time got closer to the expected arrival time, it was announced that only one coach was available. Due to the amount of people standing in the station for that train, I decided to skip over my usual train and catch the next one. Sadly, this meant that I had to remain sat at the station for about another hour.
It was about 11:30 when I got out to the woodlands in Lostwithiel to get on with some work. By then, I was beginning to feel even worse. I was meant to fill up the three water containers with water from the stream and start working on the interior walls of the new shed. I filled up those three containers and then struggled to carry them back up to the field. Those things are heavy when they're full.
Working on the walls is where I failed and started to feel miserable about my efforts. It took me about five tries to get one piece cut down to even fit into the area I was trying to fit it. It didn't fit in that well even after all of that effort because there were some large gaps from where I went a little wonky with the sawing. After all that effort, I was feeling stressed and miserable, but I was hoping it didn't seem like that to Richard.
That is one thing I lie about at times - how I'm feeling. I'll tell people I'm perfectly fine and all. However, some days, that can be a complete lie because deep down, I'm feeling like total shit, and I hope that it doesn't show. I'm sure it does show at times, though.
I feel like I let Richard down by the amount of work I achieved. For about 30 minutes or so, I just stood there, procrastinating about working on the wall. I didn't feel like working any more on it because I was just feeling that fucking lousy!
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