A sad loss

Yesterday turned out to be a rather sad day. While at the Restormel Lodge Hotel, I heard on TV about a landslide in my hometown of Looe. I'd also heard about a house that had partially collapsed and that a woman in her 60s was missing. I heard nothing more about it for the remainder of my day at the hotel.

Once I'd returned home, I searched for it on Google. I quickly located the story. It stated that the entire thing had happened on Sandplace Road. I still can't place where exactly that is in Looe, even though the pictures of the property look very familiar. I read in the report that the woman's name was Susan Norman, and she's 68. It said no one had heard from her since about 8 pm Thursday night. At around that time, it was stated that she'd called her family and told them that she was going to bed because she was exhausted.

I heard nothing else on the story yesterday because I proceeded to climb into bed and get some sleep myself since I was exhausted and could barely stay awake.

I decided to check on the story today and found out that Susan had been located at the house at about 18:50. As you can probably guess, it wasn't good news. Before falling asleep yesterday, I was hoping that the news would've been reporting that she'd be found staying with friends or family, or even at a hotel and that she just hadn't reported into family yet. I reckon a lot of people in Looe were hoping for the same kind of thing, even though deep down, I'm sure everyone knew that the news wouldn't be good at all.

The big worry everyone in Looe will have now is about the building she was found in. Due to the landslide that demolished the house, the building is now partially collapsed and leaning dangerously forward. How long will it last before it completely collapses? Hopefully, something will be done about it before then because it seriously can't be left in the condition it's currently in.

At about 10:56, the same page stated that residents in the area of the incident had been campaigning for years to obtain safety measures. There have been several landslips in that area in the past. However, their pleas have been ignored by the Cornwall Council. Maybe now the council are going to listen and sort something out. I'm amazed they could ignore it this much. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if they continued to ignore the pleas. How many deaths will it take for them to sit up and decide, "We must solve this problem!"? Just this one, or many more?

Unaware

Lately, I've been finding out just how bad my epilepsy is.

My Dad visited me on the 18th of March to help me decorate my apartment a little. At one point, we were putting a desk together as a pair, but I spaced out on him somewhere during this process. For about 8 minutes, I was apparently staring blankly at him. It seemed I couldn't hear anything he was saying or even see him. I just sat (or stood...I don't know) there, staring at him and rubbing a bag between my thumb and forefinger. I was told about it afterwards, but I do not remember the event. After being told, I thought back to last week at the youth project. A couple of times at the project, I felt like I was going to fall asleep. But after being told about my spacing out, I thought, "Was I falling asleep or spacing out?". I decided to ask Richard about it today.

I was told by Richard that I have been spacing out on him a few times, inside the hotel and outside at the field. He told me he'd be talking to me, and I wouldn't acknowledge him for a few minutes and then would just come around and talk to him. I have no recollection of these events at all. So, it seems that Dad is correct. At appointments and all, I really shouldn't be there alone because I honestly do not remember these times.

Looking through some paperwork today, I located three reports from the ambulance people during 2012. One dated the 18th of January 2012, one dated the 6th of December 2012, and one dated the 29th of December 2012. These appear to be the only reports I've held on to. I do remember having a seizure on the 29th of January 2013, too. All these seizures were grand mal ones, and of the 4, I can only really remember the one on the 29th of January because it left me with a huge cut down my left arm. But since Monday, I've found out that I've had quite a lot of petite mal seizures.

After talking to Richard today, I said that I probably fucked myself over with the medical assessment I had back in November 2012. I don't remember this assessment, but I'm pretty sure it just involved answering a lot of questions. However, I think I answered the questions incorrectly and was told I was "fit for work" or something. I'm now finding out just how UNFIT for work I am.

I can't get a job while in this condition because I'd get fired in no time. For example, say I was working in a store behind the checkout. Since I've been having quite a few petite mal seizures, which seem to involve me staring blankly at people and not hearing them for about 8 minutes, imagine if I'm serving a customer at the checkout. I could space out at any time and be there for 8 minutes doing nothing and end up with quite a queue forming because I'm unaware of anything. I'm pretty sure I'd be fired after a week or two because no one could deal with it.

What I need to do is appeal this decision, which got my DLA denied, and also try to appeal this medical assessment. However, I will take Richard with me this time or try to get Dad to come along. I shouldn't attend the assessment alone because I am unaware of just how badly I'm doing.

Tomorrow, I will try to borrow the hotel's phone to call the DLA people and ask them to reconsider the decision. On Monday, when I have a doctor's appointment, I'm going to take the ambulance reports with me and try to get Richard to come along too so that he can explain these petite mal seizures to the doctor. I will then see if the doctor can get that medical assessment redone. I'll need to take either Dad or Richard to the assessment with me so that they can correct anything I answer incorrectly. I can't answer any questions, honestly, since I have no idea about the full extent of my seizures. If I can't remember them, then how can I answer a question like "How many seizures have you had in the past year?" I can't answer that correctly if I have no idea at all!

Crying with laughter

It looks like I'm going to be getting a lot of sleep tonight. Why? I could barely keep my eyes open at the youth project today. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep several times while watching and trying to learn some Java and C++. I guess it's lucky our "teacher" got disconnected today while trying to teach us C++ because I couldn't pay much attention.

Before leaving to go home, I did get a great laugh out of a video by alantutorial. This guy usually makes stupid tutorials about things anyone should know how to do, such as picking up a chair that has fallen over. However, this tutorial had me crying with laughter when I saw it. I don't know what the tutorial was about exactly. Still, after he locates a dictionary in the video, I lost it. What he'd done was just hilarious. I'm not going to spoil the surprise, though. Look at the video if you're curious about what made me cry with laughter.

Plenty of Fish - Don't expect a bite

Plenty of Fish is a site you should not try out if you're looking for a relationship. Actually, I should say that no one who isn't a great-looking person should try it. Why do I say this? Well, I've messaged over 20 people (34 to be exact) on the site now to see how cooperative people are, and I haven't had a single reply. It's just amazing to me.

I was told I should try out the site because some guy who was a lot worse looking than me was getting a lot of replies and dates from the site. However, I can't get a single reply myself. It doesn't matter what I say or ask; no one wants to talk. I've sent out very similar messages to many of them because I just got tired of trying to alternate the topics, especially since I never got a reply after about ten people.

My messages mostly consisted of saying "Hi" and asking them, "How are you doing today?". On top of that, I would ask if they enjoyed their current jobs and, if not, what they would rather do for work. Next, I would ask about their pets. Then I'd ask what they enjoy in terms of movies and music. Recently, I started asking questions about whereabouts in the world they've travelled to and whether they would like to go anywhere else in the world. Obviously, I'd comment on a few messages telling them they're beautiful or something along those lines. It doesn't seem to matter, though. No one is interested in anything I have to say or ask.

Anyway, if you're not an attractive person (like myself), I would never recommend this site, especially if you don't want to feel hurt or unwanted.

If you use this site or are new to it, I wish you the best of luck in your search. You'll need a lot of luck if you're anything like myself.