There are days lately where I feel like maybe I'm not worthy of anybody's friendship. I'm constantly upsetting my friends by missing something they've said to me, or I'm completely pissing them off with things that I enjoy, but they find annoying. For example, I showed my friend, Holly, the Alan Tutorial videos. I suggested that she watch them from start to finish. I've no idea where she started watching them from (probably the end), but she immediately got irritated by it, saying that she'll never get those minutes back and that it's just some creepypasta shit. I tried to explain that it had a deeper meaning, not just some creepypasta rubbish, but she didn't want to hear it. To her, it was just a typical creepypasta. It's probably on some creepypasta website because someone believed it to be a true story, but that's not the case with Alan Tutorial. It would be nice if people would look at it from start to finish and not assume it's something that it's not, whether that thought is that it's a huge waste of time or that it's just a creepypasta and nothing more.
Another person that I've upset a fair amount lately is my friend Amy. A lot of that comes down to me not paying attention to something she's said to me; therefore, she feels I am neglecting her. I try to give my friends as much attention as possible, but I'm constantly failing and then find myself asking, 'Why do these people even like me? What do I have to give them?'. I feel completely worthless when I can't make my friends happy. Their sadness causes me pain because I feel like I'm not the friend they need and that they'd be better off without me in their lives. I don't know lately.
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